FEAR - THE NIGERIAN FACTOR.

M.C with the M.I.C; Sulaimon
Sulaimon Hollathemegee shares with Mates & the world; in this inspiring and challenging write-up; and we;'re sure reading this is worth the while.

Read On and Leave a comment:

The hope and lesson for the best life lies solely in our strength and drive to write the wrong in our past, life is a continuous task which demands a continuous exercise and process. Building a strong a virile society is a task which does not only lies in the  hands of few elected leaders but also an act of every citizen and indeed every masses. Our actions, negligence and idleness towards individuals are what have cost us our place as a nation and also as individual. We are a society where we cannot vouch for the best of life and commune (where we live) like destitute when we should live “on top of the world”. This is one thing which has plunge us into a state of political anarchy, insecurity, economic instability, tribal intolerance, religious violence and also moral down trend.

These actions from us indeed extract our social virtual by making us infidel of ethics and moral virtues. My fear for Nigeria as a nation and for individuals is not being in a state of fear but of disarray. The agony of the Nigeria’s civil war between 1967 to 1970, the pain of annulment of June 12, 1993 presidential election and the struggle thereafter, the chaotic and reign to terror of the Abacha regime and the trending corruption which is “everly” thriving in our society will not be the worst that we would meet ourselves, if we fail to curtail the blame game which everyone has embarked on in our society.

It's high time we fought our fear by doing the right things, by stating, writing and upholding the right moral-values; and these not by the constitutional defence but by social and ethical defence. We can kill our fear if we use the law of commonwealth and the Levant Ian’s theory of Thomas Hobbs which states "Don't do to another what you fear for yourself"

It's high time we respected the activities and the involvement of every individual; it’s high time leaders lead with aura and positive character and followers follow with respect and total commitment. The earlier we do this, the better for everyone.

These will help save our society from a state of despair, building a strong and virile society is a task of all, let’s start acting and continue until we are there.

Copyright belongs to:
Quadri Sulaimon O.


Written for publication on all MagicMates Mediums


Another MagicMates Production 2014.



WILL YOUR MARRIAGE SURVIVE THIS STORM?

We hope after reading, you'll reply below this post?

June 19, 2014



mmates, magicmates foundation
Credit: MagicMates
No marriage is immune from storms. At one point or the other, it may not be an easy ride as one would wish.

When Bola’s brother lost his job, she worried about how it would affect his marriage. Would he and his wife cave under the added pressure and turn on one another? Or would they survive the storm with their marriage—and family—intact?

All too often, marriages are collateral damage in other storms of life—a job loss, the loss of a loved one, parenting a problem child, etc. When couples are exposed to the heavy winds of difficult circumstances, all the cracks in the foundation of their relationship are exposed.For many, a crisis is a fast track to divorce.

But there are exceptions! In the case of Bola’s brother, his job loss and the financial pressure it brought actually helped him and his wife become closer. They became doubly focused on supporting one another and working as a team as a means of survival.

These steps suggested by imom.com below will help you to a great extent in surviving a marriage crisis.

1. Take turns being strong.
When Nkechi’s baby was born prematurely, she and her husband had been married less than a year. They barely knew one another very well, and were suddenly overwhelmed with a very sick child clinging to life in the ICU. “What really helped us to cope during those months was to take turns being the strong one. Some days I would just need to cry and fall apart, and he would be tough and reassure me. Other days, we switched roles” she says. “And through it all, we encouraged each other.” No one can be strong all the time, but if you tag-team and pick one another up as necessary, you’ll make it.

2. Give as much grace as you want to receive.
When a couple is suffering, it can be easy to look for a villain and start playing the blame game. But does that ever really fix anything? Jide says that when he lost his job and went through months of unemployment, he was devastated. “I felt like such a failure as a husband and father. There were days that I could hardly get out of bed. But through all of that, my wife never blamed me for our financial strain, never complained, and never stopped believing that God was going to provide another job for me soon.” She was right. And when that new job came around, she also had a husband who knew that his wife was a treasure.

BEEZEAL'S WORLD

BeeZeal is a 'soul' that renders humanitarian service in motivational speaking, a life coach in relationship and marriage fixing.
With lots of research and brain searching, she will be posting some motivational material that will sometimes unravel a hard situation and challenges (All by God's Grace).

She shared three (3) of her many motivational write-ups with MagicMates, please relax and have a BeeZeal inspired day.
Rafiat of BeeZeal Passion World

1.You Don’t Marry One Person;
you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you.
God did not intend marriage to be a cross, a burden, a trap or a prison yard as some have confessed. Marital problems have made many people conclude that marriage cannot work. It is as if God instituted something that is impossible. If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.
''Marriage is that relationship between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual and the obligation reciprocal''- Losk Anspacher.
The devil is not given the key to come in and go out of your home as he likes. God is the Savior of your home and not the devil and that is why you need to sit up and kick the devil out of your home. As you make your bed, so you lie on it. What you give in marriage is what you get. The home you build is the home you enjoy.
No Marriage is 100% Perfect!

WARNING ! ! !



Please,if anyone stops you and ask if you're interested in some perfume and gives you a paper to smell, please don't!

It's a new scam, the paper is laced with drugs, you'll pass out so they can rob you or do worse things to you. Please forward to all friends and family..save a soul.

Relationship Stories; S2

The True Meaning of LOVE –
A Touching Story.....

 
My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. . I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy.

My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love. One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. “Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?” Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow… ”My hopes just sank by listening to his response. I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was
already breaking my heart.

I continued reading. “When you use the computeryou always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ” My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. … and as I continue on reading…

“Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favourite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….. Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…

copyright unknown
 

Relationship Stories; S1

“Biyi hasn’t worked for that long?” Dayo’s voice drips with resentment. “For real?” “He’s been trying,” I say in feeble attempt to defend my husband. “You know how the economy is.”
…My husband and I had vowed never to bring in a third party into our relationship but with a bank account
screaming for revival, I need to share my burden with someone else. I grip the phone. Dayo is unusually quiet. “You still there?” I ask. “Hello?” “I am here,” she says. “I just didn’t know things were this bad. And all this while, I thought Biyi was providing for the home.” But he is, I argue silently. Well, maybe not financially for now, but in every way else, Biyi is a rock. “It’s not that bad.” My words sound frail. Dayo clucks her tongue.
“You might as well be a widow.” The words hit me like a fist. “Na you I blame,” she continues, oblivious to the damage her words have caused.
“Me? Why?” She is blaming me for this? Seriously?
“Why do you keep paying the bills?”
“Because there is no one else to do it,” I protest, upset.

“For real? He drives your car too?”
“He needs it,” I mutter. “To attend job interviews and stuff. He gets back late sometimes.”
“How late are you talking? “Nine, ten…ish.”
Dayo pauses for a second. “I hate to say this gurl, but your husband spending your money on another woman.” Whoa! Hang on. Where did that come from? “Haba, Dayo. Biyi would never”  “Look, I know men,” she slices in. “You are his moneybag and he will take you for a ride as long as it takes. Where is your dignity, gurl?” Ride. Dignity. Moneybag.
Ouch. “But he’s a good guy,” I managed.
Can my husband be using me? It had never crossed my mind in the past, but I now wonder if Biyi is actually having an affair.
“I trust my wonderful Dennis…,” Dayo is saying. I barely listen. My eyes are on the clock. It’s almost midnight and Biyi isn’t home. I force myself to hear what Dayo is saying about Dennis Ono, her multimillionaire-oil- company-golden-husband. Gosh I envy her life, her perfect marriage. “My marriage is wonderful,” Dayo says, as if in affirmation to my undeclared words.
“But only because I show Dennis who the boss is. He cannot try nonsense with me. Abi, you think it’s easy to get ten thousand pounds a month as pocket money?” She really gets ten grand a month? That’s like, my entire annual salary in my crappy job plus bonuses.
Life is unfair. Honestly. “I am Biyi’s wife,” I say. “I cannot just desert him.” Or can I? At this rate… “In that case,” there is an edge to her voice now, “give him an ultimatum. He gets a job in two weeks or you are out of that marriage.” “I—”
“Look, I know his type,” she says with conviction. “He conveniently won’t get a job as long as you keep dishing out your money.” “But—” “Starve him,” she adds. “No sex. Make life hell. You are not an ATM machine.”
Keys jangle in the hallway. Biyi is home. “Talk later,” I say to Dayo. “He’s back.” “Stand your ground,” Dayo whispers menacingly. “Ultimatum. Two weeks.” I hang up with a sigh. My husband is leaning against the door frame. For a second my heart falters. He looks tired, drawn. But Dayo’s words punctuate my compassion. “Where have you been?” Biyi gives me a side smile. “No hug?” I jerk my head at the wall clock.” Its midnight.” “I had a job interview in Lagos,” he says. “I called you tell you I was stuck in traffic but I kept getting your voicemail. What’s wrong?” I cock my head. Is that a whiff of female perfume? It is. Dayo is right. He has been with another woman. With my car. Spending my money. My head spins.
“Biyi,” I glare at him, “Where are you coming from?” He steps back, surprised.
“I went to Lagos—”
“Did you get it?” I screech. “The job?”
Biyi shakes his head. “I didn’t—”
This is the last straw. I wrench my hand out. “My car keys.”
He gives me a hard level stare. “What is wrong with you, Toni? Did I offend you?”
“Pass my keys!” He thrusts the car keys to into my palm. I push past him, grab my duffel bag and stuff my overnight things into it. I know I am acting crazy but I have to show him that I would not be taken for a ride. That I am not a moneybag. That I have dignity. I zip the bag up and spin around. My husband is staring at me. “Is everything all right with you, sweetheart?”
“Get out of my way.”
“Where are you going with that bag?”
“I need to clear my head.” I am still yelling.
“Can we talk first?” Biyi suggests.
“I don’t want to talk. Get out of my way.”
He moves out of my path. I swipe a hand across my face, smearing my cheeks with mascara. “Don’t look for me. I will be back when my head clears.” I rush out of the house, jump into my car. My rage doubles as the feminine scent permeates the car. He has been with a woman in my car. I feel like an idiot.

* * *
 
I pull up in front of Dayo’s mansion. Her husband’s Porsche is in the driveway, and the porch lights illuminate my dreary form as I reach the door. I ball my fists to knock, but a scream freezes the motion.
“Kill me!” I hear Dayo scream. “Good for nothing idiot. Womanizer of the century!” Whoa. Momentarily, I am unable to move. My hand hovers in the air. Dull thuds, muffled screams. Dennis curses. “I warned you never to serve me stew that is not freshly cooked!” “Am I your slave?” Dayo yells back. “If you want fresh stew, get your PA to cook it for you. Or you think I don’t know about her? You think…” Dayo’s words are silenced by another thump. My hands fall to my side as a flurry of blows stifle her cries. I want call the police, do something…anything. But I cannot move. And so I shut my eyes tight and listen as my friend is pummeled by her husband. The beating stops. I should dash to my car, but something holds me back. “I am sorry I got you upset darling,” Dayo finally says. Her voice is laced with pain. “It is my fault. I should have cooked for you.
I…Toni wouldn’t let me get off the phone…its her fault.” “Next time you talk to me like that, I will tattoo a punch on your forehead,” Dennis growls. “Get into the kitchen and make me fresh stew. And do something about that leech you call a friend.” That is enough for me. I sprint back to my car and drive home.

* * *
 
A knock sounds on the window. Biyi. I wind down and he gives me a smile. “Head clear now?” he asks. “Leave me alone,” I mutter. Dayo’s wonderful Denis beats her up? And she never mentioned?
“I will leave you alone in two seconds,” Biyi says. There is a twinkle in his eyes. “But first, get out of the car.” I oblige, grudgingly. “What?” He reaches under the car seat and pulls out a small basket. “I didn’t come home straight from the interview. I stopped over at the Perfume shop to get you this.” He hands the basket over. Inside is a range of exotic feminine perfumes and a small card. I pull the card open, read the words: “Thank you for your support during the hardest times of my life! I love you.” “That’s why I was late,” he explains as he pulls me into a warm embrace. “You have been so good to me, Toni. I couldn’t have asked for a better wife.” I can’t reply. My throat is lumpy. “When you left the house to clear your head, I got a call back from the recruiter,” he says with a beam. “God answers prayers, babe. I got the job. It’s a package you won’t believe. Let’s go in. I’ll tuck you into bed and you can tell me what’s bothering you?

* * *
 
I awaken to a text message from Dayo. “Denis is flying me to Seychelles this weekend. This is what you get when you
stand your ground. You have to be a no nonsense girl! Don’t you just love my life? Ciao sweetheart xxx.”
I type a quick response back: “Ciao! And i deleted her number right away. Now, this is one story every woman should read. The grass is never greener on the other side, best believe that. No matter how good a friend’s marriage is, NEVER EVER compare with yours.

It’s DEADLY and could cost you so much!

copyright: Unknown

THE SANITY IN MY INSANITY

 THE SANITY IN MY INSANITY
 
 
I once saw a mad man in the bin,
Looking satisfied, worrying not for what to eat.
He treated himself to delicacies,
Leftovers and junk that littered the bin.


He worried not about clothes,
Shoes or chains of gold.
Not bothered about setting goals
Or storing up cash in treasure troves.

He pays no rent,
The sky is the roof over his head
The cold wind his blanket
Under the bridge, his apartment.

His feet take him where cars can,
So he bothers not, if fuel is scarce.
Not pressured by relatives
No expectations from society.

Contentment he finds in his squalor.
So he worries not about work.
Does not have to impress any boss
For the pay cheque every month.

So in awe I asked,
Oh mad man, how can you be this relaxed?
He turned to me and smiled
Saying, son, this is the secret of life

Worry not about the morrow,
It may bring fortune or sorrow
Discover you own road,
Even if it means standing alone

They call me a mad man,
But at least I'm not a rat,
Running a blind race,
Just to keep up the pace

For naked we came, so we leave
At 6ft, your treasures go to the wind
Alas! The world fails to see
The sanity in my insanity.


 


 


A Chika Craft Publication; 2012

AS DEM DON BAN OKADA


AS DEM DON BAN OKADA
Dem don ban okada,
Now bus conductors go dey smile
Dem go carry passengers dey shine,
Even gala sellers don hammer


As dem don ban okada
Make sure say your phone get earphone,
And your shoe no be high heel,
E better make you sabi apian way

Carry small umbrella,
Carry small rag,
No forget to buy brown hanky,
And those palasa yaba glasses.

Now wey dem don ban okada,
If you be agbero, go find work.
Becos dem go soon ban bus,
To make chance for BRT.

If your bobo be car owner,
Make you go beg Fashola,
Becos chicks go plenty pass water
Any shout? Na red card

As dem ban okada,
Na Igbobi doctors happy pass
But if U̶̲̥̅̊ dey sell crutches,
Soory o, na bad market.
 
 
Since wey dem don ban okada,
We go do am PH style,
5 people for one cab,
Nobody get money for chater.

Aboki go turn shoemaker,
Rider go go back to villa,
Then we go leave lagos for the lawyer
As him don ban okada.

But as dem don ban okada,
I hope say dem don settle police,
Cos na poor man go still suffer,
When boys come for night.


 


 as shared on the MagicMates facebook page. (Copyright Unknown)

5 steps for selecting a great school for your child










5 steps for selecting a great school for your child

The greatest gift parents, especially Moms can give their kids is the gift of education. Selecting the right school for your child will enable you help your child to an amazing education that will put your child on the road to academic achievement.
Armed with options and information, parents can be powerful advocates for their children. Here are a few things you will need to know:
1. THE QUALITY OF THE STAFF.
Before deciding to select a particular school for your young kids, you must make sure you find out how staff of the school treat children in the school. Are they patient? Are they flexible? Will they be able to meet your child’s developmental and emotional needs? Are there enough teacher to meet the needs of all children in the classroom? Do they practice good personal hygiene? Do they possess previous experience or training in working with children? All these questions will enable parents decide the best school for their kids.
2. THE SCHOOL FACILITY.
It is also important to ensure that the teaching environment is safe. Look at the work areas, are they clean and orderly? Are the classrooms well ventilated, well-lit and attractive? Are the rest rooms and toilets clean? All these questions will help you decide if the school has put in place adequate facilities for your child.
3. TEACHING PROGRAMME & CURRICULUM.
You need to make sure the facility is properly licensed by the approved teaching regulatory board to provide teaching services to children. You will also need to ensure that the teachers are equally licensed to be teachers. You will need to look out for the availability of adequate play and educational materials for the kids. You will also need to look at how the daily schedules of their kids are organized. It’s also important for parents to ensure the school provides enrichment opportunities for students, especially gifted kids.
4. LOCATION OF THE SCHOOL.
Parents will also need to consider the location of the school. Parents will need to decide if they would prefer a school within walking distance of your home and how far they willing to drive your child to school. It may also be worthwhile to explore options that are close to your place of work, enabling the parents to visit briefly during office breaks. You will also have to consider if the school caters to children with special transportation needs.
5. ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE.
The academic performance of the school you would like to choose for your Child is the most important part of selecting a school for your child. You should check to see how the school’s test scores compare to those of other schools? You can also request information from the school on special achievements or recognition the school has received.
The hard work will be worth your while by the time you find a school that brings out the best in your child.

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